From the Evangelist Desk.
How good’s your dad?
I look back on my life and wished that I could have spent more time and gained more understanding of my father(s).
I say father(s) because unlike many I have had a few in my life.
There was my birth father, well he wasn’t around at my birth and from what I understand he was a Rhine Barge Captain.
Then when I was about six weeks old I had another dad come into my life, that being my father by adoption. From what I remember he was okay, he was in the Army, Royal Engineers. I can still remember my time in Germany and Gibraltar as we travelled around after him.
Gibraltar was a very popular holiday destination for my adopted mum and adopted dad’s family as far as I can remember; they wanted to visit far more often than they ever did when we were in Germany. I wonder whether that was anything to do with the weather.
Then my adopted mum and dad had a falling out, which wasn’t at all pleasant I can tell you. So there was I with my adopted mum and my adopted grandparents. Dad wasn’t allowed to visit me after about a year.
Then my mum met a policeman, they met whilst he was teaching her to drive. And even now I will share with anybody; he didn’t do a very good job. Once when I was with her she entered a roundabout the wrong way, a car avoided her by going up the grass bank beside the roundabout and she started hurling abuse at the poor person, saying they should retake their test because evidentially they couldn’t drive!
Anyway back to the policeman. I don’t know whether it was his job, or his attitude, but I could not get close to him. He was very dictatorial in his ways. There are a few things that he had said to me whilst he was alive and I carry them with me even today, thoughts of wisdom I like to call them.
As I said though, I could not form a relationship with him, and neither could his own sons in many ways. If you didn’t accept what he said as gospel truth, then you were a fool. And if you didn’t take his advice when given, he would never give it again. But on the whole he was a good person, so please don’t read this in the wrong way.
But there I am still missing that fatherly figure. You would think that not really having one I wouldn’t know what I was missing, but I can assure you I do.
I even tried contacting my adopted father when I reached the age of 18, only to find that he had another life in another place and had moved on. He did wish me good luck in my life though. And again, just in case your wondering, I don’t hold any ill feelings for this person either, because life does go on and he had a new life.
But still I had that big void, I knew something was missing. I wanted a dad, someone that would tell me everything was going to be okay. Someone to tell me what to look out for in the opposite sex, because believe me, I would have appreciated an insight into that wonder of the world.
But as they say, life goes on. To the physiatrist I would have been classed still in infant stage because I had not received the male bonding and rite passing through to adulthood. But never mind I am what I am and I am happy where I am.
Even now I miss that ability to share something with a fatherly figure who will offer words of wisdom and encouragement. But again at my age I suppose I must resign myself to this fact.
I then think, I hope that I do not appear distant to my children. I hope that they never feel that I have deserted them. I wonder how they view me? If my children are reading this, please don’t answer, I think I would rather not know. In my defence I think I did alright for them, and that I am still doing alright even today.
Then my mind took me to a Gospel Passage contained within John. I read the passage and pondered long and hard. I have been a fool, because throughout my life I have always had a Dad, a Father, one who always takes time to listen, who picks me up when I fall down. One who guides me with His words on a daily basis.
Who’s that Dad I ask you say! Well He’s my Dad and your Dad and everybody’s Dad. He is in fact three Dads rolled up into one. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning , is now and ever shall be.
John 15-:9-11 (NIV)
As the Father loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
If you feel distant, invite your Dad back into your life today.
Yours in Christ.